Italia / by admin

Italy is a wonderful place to go if you want to be treated like a shit by Italians surrounded by fountains. Whether you are surrounded by fountains or the Italians that treat you like a shit are surrounded by fountains, there is no shortage of fountains or statues of men with little penises and worn off noses, if that's your thing, around which you can be snarled at and abused in a language that you don't understand. And all for pizza and vino. Mind you, this is in Rome, Florence and Venice. The Italians there are all on the verge of murder and not surprising really. Tourists are everywhere, all over your back yard, on your doorstep taking photos of themselves with their tongues out, little funny hats with electric fans in them, it's hideous and even I armed with my nikon dslr big lense wanted to wipe out all the tourists on the behalf of our hosts. I wanted them to accept me and invite me in to drink pizza and vino with garlic and raucous laughter. To be slapped on the back. I would have perfect hair and I would have ten brothers, all bullfighters. But instead, as I stood there in my cargo shorts, my converse sneakers, my nike dry fit shirt, my sun glasses and gigantic camera, it was unlikely I might enjoy the familial bosom that Italy had to offer. So I just thought about how not to look like a tourist instead and it took up all of my time. Positano was the saving grace. Lovely people though I got the impression most of them were mad. Inbreeding, who knows. Good food, on the water, getting picked up by boat people, shuttling us all about to restaurants, drunk, smoking all the time. No patches, sadly. Would love to have seen some patches. Lovely swimming. Clear blue waters. Do go. Love this place